I have one stubborn kilo to go to get to where I was before I had my first son. 16 down -1 to go.
Retrospectively it has been one hell of a journey. It starts right at the beginning, the everything that brought me to be in the place I was when I was just about to embark on the most significant journey of my life. Motherhood.
I was the kid who had to drink supplement drinks because I was so excited about christmas (6 weeks prior to the actual event) that I couldn’t eat. I hid my easter eggs under my bed for months and I shopped in the kids department for my school uniform right into yr 10 of high school. I was skinny
I was serious about sport for most of my child hood, training up to 4 hours a day before big events. I had no reason at all not to eat whatever I felt like eating. My parents are great cooks, Mum is the baker who is religious about recipes and dad is the ’chuck it all in’, ‘bit of this’, ‘that will do’ kind of man who always surprises everyone with his beautiful creations.
When I think of the happy times in my life, food always has its presence.
I will never forget the luscious bowl of simple green salad I had as a child in france, with the tangy dressing ( yes I was the weird child eating lettuce amongst the others and their fries). Dads sausage and beer hot-pot on the yacht we used to spend summers on, Mums incredible chocolate brownies, amazing birthday cakes and home-made elderflower wine.
Then came the teenage years of melancholy, self-pity and despair at my pale skin, red hair, ridiculously skinny legs. These were the emo years and like many girls my relationship with food became a negative one. Though stress, anxiety and the pressure to look a certain way, I developed anorexia and a dependency on alcohol to have fun. Out the window went the sport and in the window came a black cloud that stuck around for a couple of years.
I was 18 when I finally started my journey back to being carefree and enthusiastic about cooking and eating. At 19 I met my husband, a chef who converted me from being a vegetarian to a carnivore. I have been learning from him ever since. He is a wealth of knowledge and a real artist with food. We married when I was 23 and still very slim.
I fell pregnant with my first son when I was 26, we had been living and studying in the UK for 4 years together. I had been fluctuating the whole time we were there. One minute I was eating my body weight in carbs and drinking every night and the next I was stressed and not eating at all.
When I got over the initial morning sickness, food suddenly became my friend! hello food and all your sexy flavours, hello Fat Sugar and Carbs, we used to be acquaintances now we are besties forever and ever. Amen.
My Nanna who was my best friend had a serious stroke right before I was due to fly back to australia to live. I knew she was never going to meet my baby and that I was never going to see her again.
Food you really are my best friend now I gained 20 kilo-, got pre-eclempsia and experienced a horrific natural birth followed a pain relief drug reaction that took 3 months to get over. A Naturopath was my saviour in this situation. I felt like I had seen a million doctors and that I was getting no where. Pauline Twite is her name and she is an angel. She taught me so much about healing through suppliments and diet.
So 16 months later after loosing most of the weight by walking it off! and finding joy again after having post natal depression. I fell pregnant. This time I had gestational diabetes and had no choice but to keep my weight under control.
I learned a whole new way of eating through physically being able to see how everything effected my blood sugar levels. I learned that high GI foods are a waste of time unless you want to be tired and fat.
After a tough time having to juggle this new approach to pregnancy eating and the fact that my unborn child had a serious condition where fluid had collected in his chest cavity, causing his lungs to be underdeveloped and his heart to be in the wrong place, I had a c section and met my now perfectly healthy 10 pound boy.
Mother nature sorted him out, modern medicine sorted me out.
six months down the track I find out about my 15 cm abdominal separation and the new phase of my life begins.
Now here I am 1 kilo away from my goal weight and telling the world my story. …phew its been interesting and the hardest part now will be maintaining.
But I think that what I have learned has changed my attitude to food. Its is not something to avoid in times of stress and not something to rely on either. You have to love food that loves you. Food that nourishes,excites, strengthens and sustains you. Food is art, food is to be shared. Food is to be respected.
My challenge since having my second son is to create Low GI food that is actually tasty. Lets face it…and I quote my fellow mother group friend Catherine ” fat =TASTE”
So lets keep the real fat for the sometimes foods, up the nutritional/sustenance value of everything. And make rainbows on all the plates we prepare.
Lets be best friends with balance, life, love, joy, forgiveness, will power and aquintences with the ‘sometimes’ foods!
I will add a photo of my belly when I have lost that last kilo!
Key factors in changing my relationship with food.
1. learning about how having a terrible diet can seriously affect your ability to cope with pregnancy and child-birth.
2. learning from a naturopath how diet REALLY effects your emotions and how a lack of nutrients can make you seriously ill.
3. Seeing with my own eyes how sugar effects your body by having to prick my finger 4 times a day. Thus learning what foods sustain you for longer.
4. Reaping the rewards of sticking to a goal and not giving in to the ‘I can’t be bothered’s’
5. learning to neither ignore food or binge on it during emotional times. It is not your enemy or your best friend.